beading on the fly

I'm in Phoenix once again tending to my mother. It's a horror what the airlines can do to vials of beads packed in checked baggage. Luckily I secured everything in zip-lock bags so I have some interesting mixes but no bead soup on the bottom of my suitcase.

I worked on the November page for a bit in the waiting room at the hospital today while my mother was having a heart catheterization. I could only work for a little while because there was just so much sadness in that room with people all stressed and doctors coming out to share not such good news.

An interesting thing here - perhaps it's everywhere and I just don't know it - when a baby is born at the hospital, the birth is announced over the intercom and brahms lullaby is played. It was charming the first few times - I don't think I'd like to work there though - perhaps you learn to ignore it.

And so mother is home now and we are experiencing a significant role reversal as now she is taking off her oxygen and sneaking out to the garage to smoke - she thinks she's fooling me. She's a grown woman - If having emphysema hasn't made her quit smoking, I don't think that I can accomplish it. I told her today that she was a grown woman who needed to make choices in her life - only she could determine whether or not drinking and smoking were important enough to shorten her life. If she felt that they were - then that is the route she should take. During the last few years of my father's life, he was miserable - he couldn't smoke his pipe, he couldn't eat the foods he liked, he had to eat foods he hated - everything was measured and calculated - I remember once I called him on his birthday and he said "I had fake eggs with fake sausage and toast with fake butter - I got half of a real banana though" - my father lived to eat - growing up during the depression was his excuse. But I often thought that if he'd lived 2 happy years instead of 3 and a half miserable ones - what would have been the difference. And that's basically how I'm feeling now with my mother. She has to make her own choices.

I think I've finally gotten her settled for the night so perhaps I can work on the beading for a bit.


shebaduhkitty said...

I know that Shawn ~will~ pick 1 good year over 5 miserable ones... so I know the route he will take. He is thankful for the new law that passed here... but I don't think they include alzheimer's in the list of acceptable reasons for euthanasia.

Jacqui said...

you are so right but so brave to tell your Mother that. I have told my kids that if ever I get to the stage where life seems unbearable, please don't prolong the period with antibiotics and other medications, just let nature take its cause. I hope they are as brave as you.